Stupid Lesser Female

She says she goes away everyday so that we can eat - what's up with that? And then she explains that she works for some See Pee A - and she says it's "Tax Time" and she's so busy that she can't set us up to post on our very own blog - that when she's home, she has to have the laptop to herself. What a selfish creature.
She is now waiting for the Slobbery Hound Creatures to come in from outside (what the heck? why do they want to go outside? it's freaking cold out there), so she said I could have the laptop for a minute or two.
I have some bad news. I think Sally isn't feeling well. She refuses to play, doesn't groom herself at all, is losing hair, does circles around the 2 seated comfy seating thing, and has also - {gulp} stopped using the litter box. I hear the Lesser Female Species talk about trying to get her to the Pokey Place, and I wonder what's going to happen next. It has even been mentioned that she might not come home.
Then who am I going to complain to?
I need to go throw up somewhere...